A good friend, Kathy, who is a quilter extraordinaire, encouraged quilters in a small class she was doing to put their fabrics into a paper bag and pull them out to create a "scrappy" look. I've tried that. Couldn't do it. Even with these simple potholders, I cannot seem to make a "random" one. I'll begin with the intention of just pulling any loop out of the bag only to find that it bothers me that there is no pattern or order to it. The loops are then rearranged once (sometimes three times) looking for an eye-pleasing pattern and color combo.
What does this say about me? Is this just a "first born" tendency? Or, is it my love of a created order-- beauty with design?
It brings me joy to discover God's designs in nature. How He puts colors together in the parts of the flowers that are pleasing to the eye. Even the colors of vegetables are pleasing, as in carrots--orange with green. The leaves of beets are a lovely dark green with purple veins.
I've given up trying to create randomness in quilts or my little potholders. Not that I don't enjoy another's random creation. I just can't, at least in this way, bring myself to be capricious. Some might say that this keeps me from being spontaneous.
Alas, for all my fondness for order, it seems that I find it difficult to maintain it in my home. Daily "to do" lists are often scuttled by unexpected opportunities, unknown plans of the spouse or just plain weariness. When I can achieve even some small sense of order in my little world, I find it restful.
As I write, it begins to sound as if I'm a control freak. No, not the case, I believe. It sands to reason that if God, who created order, would desire his people to be orderly- creative and orderly. Wanting to control each tiny aspect of our lives to suit ourselves is nothing short of idolatry. When people are control freaks their trust in God has been shattered somewhere along the way.
Our best plan should always include, "Lord willing". God is the Master Planner. He is in control of all those little, and not so little, interruptions that come into our lives. Accepting and embracing His ordered plan for our lives is often difficult. I find myself often saying, " for God's glory and my good"(--John Newton). Knowing that God is in control, that he has the smallest details of my life designed to shape me to better glorify him brings me comfort. Sure, it is not always very easy to accept and I'm not always in a position to jump up and down for joy when, in my limited perspective, things don't look very wonderful. I'm a work in progress.
O GOD MOST HIGH, MOST GLORIOUS,
The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
any my defeats are thy victories;
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,
to leave every concern entirely to thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great shepherd,
hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
Le me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.
--from the Valley of Vision, Resting on God
