Life Changes

It has been difficult to get to this place. I have not written for some time because the words just are not able to form. It is difficult to grasp and understand...communicate.

In late January, I spent a snowy weekend in the hospital believing I was having a stroke. Wrong. Turns out, after many tests, that I have MS.

I have gone from being a person who despises going to a doctor, to having three. Taking medicine was never something I liked or did. I was not on any medication (which is surprising these days for a woman of my 50 + years), now I give myself injections once a week. Did I mention that I hate needles. I also take medicine to keep my legs from jumping around all night. At least I am able to sleep so much better.

This summer has been difficult. The things that I enjoyed I struggle to do, let alone find joy in doing them. The garden has been difficult to maintain. The heat of this summer was draining on my energy, which didn't help get things done.

I've needed to "talk" about this situation, but knew that this page was not exactly the place to do that. This is/was a peaceful, happy place. Perhaps it will be again.

I just recently finished R.C. Sproul's book, The Holiness of God. Not far along in the book, Sproul is talking about Jesus and the long list of men in scripture that have been "appointed to such suffering". While I am no Isaiah, I know that God is in control and has a purpose for this. He has not left me.

Right now I need a place to share my feelings and struggles, even if no one is out there. You are welcome...it might not be pretty, but it will be as real and honest as I can. I think if I can write it out, it will help me come to grips with, not only the sin in my life, but how God will use me through this time. It is called Valley Insights at www.valleyinsights.blogspot.com

In Him I have all that I can hold;
enlarge me to take in more....
If driven to the verge of hope and to the pit of despair,
grant me grace to fall into his arms.
O God, hear me, do for me more than I ask, think, or dream.
---excerpt from The Life Look, Valley of Visions