Blahhhh

I'm just not sure what the trouble is, but I'm just feeling down. Could be the weather...not much sun lately or knowing that it's getting colder or post-election crud. Maybe it's just that I'm fighting some virus.

So many of my church friends and family members are going through difficult times and that may weigh on me more than I think it really is...no matter how far off in my brain I try to store it.

While I know that God holds the future and that all things work together for good, I must not really know it, because I am fearful for our country and what that all means. As I listened to the radio last night, so many people called in to say how scared they are. I just never thought this type of thing would happen.

The government and media have lost my trust. And maybe that is just where God wants me...to trust in Him. Urghhh...I hate that I am 50 + and still don't think I have a handle on Christianity at all! The more I learn, the more I see I know nothing...that I still have so far to go; that God has so much more work to do with me...its like I'm a little kid or something.

I have bread rising (hopefully, it will work on this dreary day), and I should run the sweeper. I need to get back to quilting, too.

"Glorious and Holy God, Provocations against thy divine majesty have filled my whole life,
My offences have been countless and aggravated. Counscience has rebuked me, friends have admonished me, the examples of others have reproached me, thy rod has chastised me, thy kindnesses allured me.
Thou hast seen and abhorred all my sins and couldst easily and justly have punished me, yet thou hast spared me, been gracious unto me, given me thy help, invited me to thy table....
At the cross that relieves my conscience, let me learn lessons of self-denial, forgivenss and submission, feel motives to obedience, find resources for all needs of the diviine life. Then le me be what I profess, do as well as teach, live as well as hear religion.
~ Valley of Vision excerpts from A Neophyte's Devotion